When social connection goes wrong.
Continuing on a theme of social connectedness, I've been thinking a lot lately about in groups, out groups, and how it feels to be a beginner.
I've heard a couple students now talk about how it can be socially difficult when starting in our club. We don't have cliques or any of that, and we all accept and help each other surprisingly well. But, there are groupings of students. The grouping that stands out is the hardcore students, 3 or 4 who have been doing this since the club started, who are serious about training, and who have volunteered for teaching or officer duties.
Fact is, not everyone comes to class for the same reason, and not everyone can be so intense or give so much time. University students are particularly concerned with not having time to do all they want. I am willing to make allowance for these varying levels of commitment, and let them know they are welcome in class even if they've missed one or two. They can even come part-time and be welcome, if they are willing to advance more slowly and work the material at home to keep it fresh. And, I tell them to do all the kenpo they can, but school comes first.
But, my attempts to make the club open to students with varying motivations and levels of intensity does little to ease this sense of there being a core group seperate in some way from the rest. Just seeing the fire in the eyes of the hardcore students is enough to indicate they have set themselves apart. I also see some advantages to having this hardcore group, both to keep the club going strong and to serve as models for the students who want to become hardcore.
But, on that first day, in that first month, really up until the first test (when everyone starts feeling more connected), new people probably feel pretty left out, second tier. They aren't, not in my eyes, and not according to the hardcore students, who have all expressed a desire to have everyone feel equally part of the group. But, the sense is still there.
I don't know what to do about it, or even if I can or should do anything about it. I'm open to suggestions.
-- SGB
I've heard a couple students now talk about how it can be socially difficult when starting in our club. We don't have cliques or any of that, and we all accept and help each other surprisingly well. But, there are groupings of students. The grouping that stands out is the hardcore students, 3 or 4 who have been doing this since the club started, who are serious about training, and who have volunteered for teaching or officer duties.
Fact is, not everyone comes to class for the same reason, and not everyone can be so intense or give so much time. University students are particularly concerned with not having time to do all they want. I am willing to make allowance for these varying levels of commitment, and let them know they are welcome in class even if they've missed one or two. They can even come part-time and be welcome, if they are willing to advance more slowly and work the material at home to keep it fresh. And, I tell them to do all the kenpo they can, but school comes first.
But, my attempts to make the club open to students with varying motivations and levels of intensity does little to ease this sense of there being a core group seperate in some way from the rest. Just seeing the fire in the eyes of the hardcore students is enough to indicate they have set themselves apart. I also see some advantages to having this hardcore group, both to keep the club going strong and to serve as models for the students who want to become hardcore.
But, on that first day, in that first month, really up until the first test (when everyone starts feeling more connected), new people probably feel pretty left out, second tier. They aren't, not in my eyes, and not according to the hardcore students, who have all expressed a desire to have everyone feel equally part of the group. But, the sense is still there.
I don't know what to do about it, or even if I can or should do anything about it. I'm open to suggestions.
-- SGB
posted by Scott Bonner at 6:14 PM
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